Emperor Constantine had quite a splendid sense of humour for a Roman, but he couldn’t stand criticism. When in the fifth century one of his court jesters boasted that fools and jesters of the court could rule the empire better than the Emperor himself, Constantine decreed that the fools would get their chance at proving this claim. The ruler set aside one day in the year upon which a fool would reign the great Roman Empire. The first year, Constantine appointed a jester named Kugel as rule, who immediately ordained that only the absurd would be allowed on that day. This yearly tradition of celebrating of all what is ludicrous, nonsensical and utterly derisory was a huge success, and so the tradition of April Fools’ Day was born. Or was it?
1. The Roman Origins of April Fool’s Day
Award: Biggest News Agency Fooled
The Ancient Roman origins of April Fools’ Day is actually a prank itself, and a very successful one. Pitched in 1983 to a journalist (facing an imminent deadline and/or in dying need of an expert on the history of April Fools’ Day) by Professor Joseph Boskin the story was put out on the news wires by agency AP. The history professor was then contacted by many other ‘reputable news outlets’ to go into more detail.
A few weeks later, Boskin admitted that not a word of the story was true (well, Constantine did rule the empire) and the Roman origins of April Fools’ Day were a big hoax.
2. Human Evolution Fraud: The Piltdown Man
Award: Longest Unexposed Archaeological Hoax
December 18 1912, the Geological Society of London meets. In their midst, Charles Dawson and a reconstruction of the Piltdown Man skull by Arthur Smith Woodward, keeper of the geological department at the British Museum. The first pieces of the intriguing skull were discovered four years earlier, by a workman in a gravel pit in Sussex. Woodward proposed that Piltdown Man represented an evolutionary missing link between ape and man, since the combination of a human-like cranium with an ape-like jaw tended to support the notion then prevailing in England that human evolution began with the brain. It took the ‘scientific establishment’ more than thirty years to reach agreement over the fact that the Eoanthropus dawsoni was an – obvious – fake and for them to debunk the myth. In 1950 the magazine Nature still suggested that the mandible and cranium represent the same creature, but eventually it was concluded that the Piltdown skull consisted of a medieval human skull combined with an orangutan jaw.
Although it is not known for certain who perpetrated the hoax – even Sherlock Holmes writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was named as the possible forger – more recent examinations of Charles Dawson’s collection have shown the world that he was a serial hoaxer, with no less than 38 obvious fakes on his record, which might make him the champion of archaeological hoaxes, only rivalled by more contemporary (again British!) fraudster Shaun Greenhalgh.
The Piltdown Man is now on display at the Natural History Museum, London.
3. Shaun Greenhalgh’s Amarna Princess
Award: Most expensive fake
Award: Best DIY
Despite having no head or legs, The Amarna Princess sculpture – named after the Egyptian capital under the reign of Akhenaton – is the most famous ‘fake’ in Britain. The 52cm alabaster statue was believed to be that of an Egyptian princess related to King Tut. Considered a rare find when offered for sale (the Amarna art style was only practiced during the reign of Pharaoh Akhenaten) the Princess fetched £440,000 and was put on display at Bolton Museum. In fact, it was a forgery created in Bolton, Lancashire by Shaun Greenhalgh. The museum later said the rarity of the item made it more difficult to identify the statue as a fake and… that experts at the British Museum thought it was genuine as well.
Other ‘ancient’ forgeries by Greenhalgh where the forged Rizley Park Lanx (a serving plate created by the forger by melting down genuine Roman coins) which was accepted as genuine for years, and a 10th Century brooch.
Greenhalgh’s run of good luck came to an end when in 2005 he and his father tried to sell three faked Assyrian reliefs to the British Museum. Obvious mistakes were spelling errors in the cuneiform inscriptions and what appeared to be 20th century harnesses on the horses.
Scotland Yard was called and before long the Greenhalghs were exposed. In their garden shed, investigators found the stencil used on one of the Assyrian reliefs. This Roman-style engraved plate never even got finished.
4. Asterix’s Home Village Discovered in France
Award: Best Wishful Thinking
In 1993, the Independent announced the archaeological discovery of the 3000-year old village of cartoon heros Asterix and Obelix. Guess what? The story went to press on April Fools’ Day. The village was said to be 3000 years old and found at Le Yaudet, near Lannion, France. The village – overlooking the Channel – was unearthed almost exactly on spot where author Rene Goscinny placed it in his books. Professor Barry Cunliffe of Oxford University and Dr. Patrick Galliou of the University of Brest were credited with its finding.
The details of the find included Celtic coins printed with the image of a wild boar and a large collection of rare menhirs, Asterix-period pottery, a statue of bard Cacofonix (at Symphorien Paule!) and Iron Age standing stones “of the precise size favoured by the indomitable Obelix whose job as a menhir delivery man has added a certain academic weight to the books”. The Indy also claimed that historians believe that Romans had never occupied the village, and transition to a Gallo-Roman society happened peacefully. Read up on this amazing discovery on the Independent website.
I must say, I’m just surprised the recipe for the mysterious concoction that gives Asterix superhuman strength for several hours – druid Getafix’s magic potion – has not been found!
5. The James Ossuary
Award: Best Biblical Forgery
In the November 2002 issue of Biblical Archaeology Review, André Lemaire of the Sorbonne University in Paris, published the report that an amazing discovery had been made in Israel: a stone box with a contemporary inscription confirming the existence of Jesus of Nazareth and his brother, James the Just.
The ossuary bears the inscription Ya`aqov bar Yosef akhui Yeshua` (“James son of Joseph brother of Jesus”) and was identified belonging to a collector, who quickly turned out to be Oded Golan (who went to trial for forgery of antiquities). If authentic, the James the Just’s Ossuary would have been the first archaeological evidence that Jesus existed aside from the manuscript tradition.
In 2003, the Israeli Antiquities Authority published a report concluding that although the ossuary and the first half of the inscription are genuine, the second half is a poor forgery. They based their analysis of the patina covering it. Specifically, it appears that the inscription was added recently and made to look old by addition of a chalk solution. Oded Golan has since been arrested and his forgery equipment and partially completed forgeries have been recovered.
6. Indiana Jones’ Crystal Skulls
Award: Best Supporting Actor (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)
Many of the quartz crystal skulls in circulation – both the smaller bead-sized ones as well as the life-sized skulls – are claimed to be pre-Columbian, either Mayan or Aztec. It is indeed true that Mesoamerican art contains a multitude of skull iconography, but none of the skulls in museum collections come from well-documented, official excavations. Although a more ‘moderate’ version of the hoax is that these rock crystal skulls are said to be examples of colonial Mexican art, it is now generally agreed upon that these skulls are 19th century forgeries.
Some of the anomalies that give the skulls away as fakes are the rigid linearity of features representing the teeth (contrasting with the more precise execution of teeth on pre-Columbian artefacts) as well as the way these features were carved. Also, a cutting wheel – not introduced until after the Spanish conquest – must have been used in the production of this skull, ruling out the possibility that they were manufactured during the Aztec period.
But those brainpans can still hold great psychic power, right? If they do, the museums want to keep those miraculous healing powers all to themselves. A statement from the British Museum reads: “There are some who claim that crystal skulls have healing qualities, emit energy, have the ability to convey vital information or are repositories of ancient wisdom. Large quartz crystal skulls have generated great interest and fascination since they began to surface in public and private collections during the second half of the nineteenth century. The British Museum views the skull in its collection as an enigmatic object of great interest but with no supernatural properties.”
But if I were you, I wouldn’t let them spoil my movie! As we’ve read above, scientists can make grave errors too. That and you might have some luck with the smaller skulls, there’s still a – tiny -chance those are real? Visit the Crystal Skull in the British Museum.
7. Tomb of Socrates Discovered
Award: Best Government Initiative
In 1995 the Greek Ministry of Culture announced that during routine excavations for the development of the Athens metro system, archaeologists had uncovered what they believed to be the tomb of Socrates, very near to the base of the Acropolis. Amongst the finds found in the tomb were a vase containing traces of hemlock (the poison used to kill Socrates) and a piece of leather dating from between 400 and 390 BC. Not realizing the Ministry of Culture was joking, the news agency Agence France-Presse immediately issued a release about the story. Only hours later, a retraction was published.
What were really found under the Acropolis stop were wine amphorae. If I were AFP, I would have opted for Socrates too!
8. Moving Stonehenge to Mount Fuji
Award: Biggest Potential Sale
On April 1st 1991 the Daily Mail reported that because of the “gradual slowing of the earth’s rotation” the Heel Stone at Stonehenge was no longer in line with the sun on Midsummer’s Day – that’s the summer solstice. To remedy this, there were plans afoot to dismantle the entire monument and re-assemble it “on another site of similar prominence.” Where to re-assemble it had reportedly become the source of controversy.
A certain ‘Ancient Society of Cosmologists’ wanted to re-assemble it on Mount Snowdon. However, a Tokyo consortium had offered 484 billion yen to move it to Japan, saying it would “enhance Japan’s status as the Land of the Rising Sun when re-sited on top of sacred Mount Fuji.” This suggestion of selling the world’s most famous stone circle had sparked outrage among conservationists.
As far as we know, Stonehenge is still in place. Should it be ever moved to Japan though, don’t worry. You can still visit and meet the druids at Heritage Key’s Stonehenge Virtual. However, England did manage to sell the London Bridge.
9. Aprilvis! Scotland’s Fake Fake Fur-Bearing Trout
Award: Best Double Fake
Award: Most Commercialised Fake
More zoology than archaeology, but as an April Fools’ day joke is ‘poisson d’avirl’ in French, and in Belgium we tend celebrate the occasion by stalking people with paper fish, a hairy trout seemed appropriate.
The fur-bearing trout – or beaver trout – is most commonly found in the Northwest Territories and Canada. The salvelinus fluffudilis has evolved to grow a thick fur coat to maintain its body heat in cold seasons, or – according to another theory – because four jugs of hair tonic were spilled into the Arkansas River (Colorado) sometime during the 1870s. The tonic explanation seems a more likely assumption for this evolutionary miracle, as it would just not be feasible for a fish to grow hair. Human-style hair would not keep them warm underwater and only drag as they swim, wasting precious energy.
The National Museum of Scotland has a rather fine example of the elusive fur-bearing trout. If we may believe Dr. Geoff Swinney, curator of lower vertebrates, fish, amphibians and reptiles, a woman approached the museum with a furry fish she’d bought in Canada as a souvenir of her trip. When the museum staff – rather politely, of course – refused to add her creation to the collection, she left it behind, and eventually the monstrous creature was tossed away. When Peter Dance’s book Animal Fakes and Frauds was published, visitors started asking after this special fish. In response to popular demand, the museum’s taxidermist tracked down some rabbit fur and created a new one! (A slightly different version of the story says the fur covered trout was on display as a genuine species of trout.)
However, it is not all a hoax. There are a few fish to be found whose bodies are covered in a hair-like substance. For instance the ‘hairy frogfish’ has growth on its scales that could be mistaken for hair, and a species of mould growth named ‘cotton mold’ produces a fur-like growth on the host fish. The carnivorous fungus which eats the furry trout alive continues to grow after the fish’s death.
10. You Decide!
Yes, there are so many choices for the number 10 slot, and I’m looking forward to hear what you think is the best archaeological hoax. Would the Bosnian Pyramids be entitled to the award of ‘Largest Hoax’? Would the Bust of Nefertiti win ‘Most Beautiful’? The Archaeoraptor definitely gets ‘Best Feathered Hoax’ – sort of a consolation price because he didn’t get his own Google logo. I dare say I’d nominate creationism for ‘Hoax With the Most Potential’ and ‘Best ongoing hoax’ but wonder which other ones are still out there.
What is the most ‘ancient’ hoax? Did they forge objects from (or in) way-more-ancient-cultures as well? Which prank gets the award for the smallest, and what is the best archaeological hoax that you ever pulled on your colleagues? (Still working on mine, here.)
Shortly summarised, in your opinion, what was the best archaeological or ‘classicist’ prank or hoax ever? We’ll give you 10 HK points for any valid suggestions, and an extra 40 points for the hoax we like the best. Suggestions in the comments box below please!
