The Mysterious Adventures of MacMummy – Mummies for the Return of the Rosetta Stone

MacMummy - Mummies for the Return of the Rosetta StoneHelp! In just twenty-four hours, my mummy has developed a will of his own and became politically active. MacMummy refuses to open his coffin until the Rosetta Stone is returned to Egypt, and is even rallying other mummies to join in on the protest and urging them to become a member of ‘Mummies for the Return of the Rosetta Stone’. I’m not quite sure if it is a blessing to have the most enterprising mummy ever, as he’s now… on strike.

How did Ilet it get so far out of hand? We were admiring the pictures of the massive Anubis that floated into New York, when MacMummy started whining. “Why am I so small and futile? Why do all those kids want to see him, rather than play with me?” I patiently explained that the Anubis in question is a mere replica, and that all those people are so excited about the treasures of King Tut coming to the Big Apple. My fine mummy was particularly fascinated by the exhibit ‘Tutankhamun’s Funeral’, which he demanded we’d visit. After all, he said, “King Tut is a distant relative of mine.” I truly love this teensy embalmed guy, but New York?!

Yesterday, only minutes after MacMummy’s first post went up, there was a power outage in the office, which lead me to believe he might have some tricks up his wrappings after all. I must urgently learn how to avoid the curse of the mummy. Luckily, we have the perfect video for that. In the mean time, to avoid another small-scale curse, and more data loss, I told a tiny, white lie. British Airways personnel are on strike, and rowing across the ocean in his little sarcophagus, there would be no way he would reach the United States before the exhibition ends. But no need to worry, the Rosetta Stone is perfect happy in London. Voila, case solved. Or so you’d think… .

Until the Rosetta Stone is returned to Egypt, we hereby refuse to sign any model releases.

MacMummy headed to our directory of ancient world sites and artefacts, and quickly found the Rosetta Stone. As well as Malcolm’s call for opinions on the return of the Rosetta Stone. I’m not entirely sure what happened after that, and in which order. He must have hi-jacked my computer, as suddenly, ‘Mummy Manifestos’ were exiting the printer by the dozens.

I did try to talk some sense into his grey mass – if not least to explain to him that big mummies do not read English, and that the only one who communicates in something besides hieroglyphs speaks French – but to no avail. By now, I’m quite convinced MacMummy must have no brain at all, as he simply refused to open his sarcophagus.

I fear that this has got quite out of control, and it could mean the collapse of the entire Egyptomania industry if he manages to translate his declaration so that more ancient Egyptian mummified corpses understand his call to (non)action. The manifesto he is spreading reads as follows.

Until the Rosetta Stone is returned to Egypt, we hereby refuse to…

.. come out of our sarcophagi
.. make mummy-movies
.. sign medical release forms
.. star on Discovery Channel
.. reproduce
.. laugh at toilet-paper jokes
.. tell whats hidden under the Sphinx
.. lift the curse

Luckily, as far as I know, no other mummies have joined this ridiculous ‘Mummies for the Return of the Rosetta Stone’ protest group yet, and it does seem like MacMummy is willing to negotiate. Minutes ago, he slipped a note under the lid of his coffin that ordered me to submit his protest to the blog challenge. He’d then consider settling for the multilingual rock to go on loan to Egypt, but only if we let him win the Thames &Hudson books. The recent power cut has me disinclined to inform him artefacts owned by Heritage Key staff can’t win any Ancient World in London prizes, just points.

On the bright side, after a good tip from Maggie about a comparable example in a private collection in Germany, I’m well on my way to dating MacMummy, and maybe even finding him some mummy-friends to play with. Of course, that is, if I manage to talk him into coming out of the closet coffin. Maybe you have some great arguments why the Rosetta Stone should stay in Britain? Urgently submit them to the blog challenge about the repatriation of the Rosetta Stone, win a Thames &Hudson book and most importantly… help me get that bloody mummy to unlock his sarcophagus. Your assistance in getting this out-of-control and totally disobedient artefact back in line (and out of its casket) will be much appreciated!