Those About To Die Salute You: Battle of the Museums

Museums clashing occurs frequently - the most famous case probably being the British Museum vs. the Acropolis Museum - but such an entertaining 'museum fight' as the naval battle that took place last week was never seen before: teams of museum employees from the Queens Museum of Art, the Brooklyn Museum, Bronx Museum of the Arts, and El Museo del Barrio, were waging war against each other in an epic and chaotic conflict on the shores of Flushing Meadows Corona Park.

The Roman naval battle was part of the art project "Those About to Die Salute You" by Duke Riley for the Queens Museum of Art and took place at... the World's Fair reflecting pool. Although part of the evening was orchestrated, the real battle was not. Aim: to capsize, sink or destroy other boats (whilst trying to avoid the concrete edge of the pool).

How did Riley get the idea? In times of economic difficulty, Roman emperors would host violent spectator sports to placate the masses. The bloodiest and most decadent of these was the Naumachia - prisoners were forced to engage in full-on naval warfare within a flooded Roman amphitheater. Variations were re-popularized in empires throughout European history, always coinciding with instances of over-indulgence at the brink of financial and societal collapse.

Even the boats used for this re-enactment were inspired by ancient history: Crafted from hand-collected Phragmite reeds (an invasive plant found in the Queens region) and materials recovered from the abandoned World’s Fair Ice Skating Rink and trash from the park the battling vessels will reflect naval styles from various cultures and eras, tying together the theme that political diversion has existed in all times and cultures.

When Brooklyn Museum of Art staff members received the invitation to the Toga Party and Long Boat Battle declaration of war from Queens Museum Executive Director, Tom Finkelpearl, two weeks ago, they leapt at the opportunity to conquer their arts-professional brethren from neighbouring boroughs and proof their Art-supremacy once and for all. Brooklyn Museum's Chief of Technology - and team captain - Shelly Bernstain tells Aaron Short: "We did a little bit of training get ready for this. Will Cary, our membership manager, was reading naval strategy on Wikipedia at night and he ran a strategy session for the team a few days ago.We also did runs to get wigs and blue makeup, blue hairspray. We looked like smurfs."

Reports say the Brooklyn Museum team fought bravely - I admit, I'm a fangirl! - , but was eventually boarded by the Queens Museum, leading to the capsizing of the team's boat. Friends of the Brooklyn Museum who witnessed the conflict were in disbelief, claiming that Brooklyn actually emerged victorious. Contemporary writings from one of the Brooklyn Museum's scribes support this theory, leaving historians with doubts if this victory by the Queens Museum was the real thing, or just obtained by breaking the rules.

Blogger Jerry Saltz gives us a more objective account of the events of that evening:

"After a reedy-voiced announcer revved up the crowd and the boats all entered the faux lake, the battle began. Immediately, the folks from the Bronx made a noble effort to capsize the Queens fighters. But then Brooklyn snuck up on their flank and did them in. At that point, the mighty Queens ship initiated a daring mid-lake boarding maneuver, jumping aboard the Brooklyn boat, hauling toga-clad soldiers off the decks. Next, the Queens mariners jumped into the water and overturned the vessel. Out of nowhere, after the appearance of sundry pirate dinghies and one zebra-striped kayaker, a large replica of the Staten Island Ferry oared in and somehow fell apart. Soon, a giant galleon, part Disney and part amusement-park ride, entered the moat, representing El Museo del Barrio. I don’t know what happened then, but somehow Queens got the best of everyone. A weird battleship entered, was set on fire, and began exploding, as the thousands in attendance danced, cheered, and rocked to Queen’s 'We Are the Champions'."

This whole - astonishing - combination of art, culture and entertainment (panem et circenses?) leaves me with two just two questions: "Why can't they organise something fun like this in London? Ok, we got the Fourth Plinth, but still... I want a Naval Battle on the Theems!" and "Would the British fleet still be strong enough to defend 'their' Marbles?" ;)

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Ann Wuyts (follow me: e-mail or )

Last three pieces by this author:

'No ceremonial burial for the Iceman', respond Otzi researchers | Fiery Pool: The Maya, the Mythic Sea and the Turtle | Stonehenge Acoustics: England's First Ministry of Sound?

Ann 'Vint' Wuyts is looking after the Heritage Key community and avatar health & entertainment. She is slightly fascinated by everything to do with 3D technology and what's commonly defined as 'Web 2.0'. When she grows up, Ann - eventually - wants to be a mummy. Favourite game: Buzzword Bingo /…